Dusty Presents: the Bravo Team M3A2 Bradley

Hey kids!  My name is Dusty.  Since David has been busy
as hell, I decided I would write up a blog update for him.

It is pretty sad that David can't do his own updates,
but honestly, I don't think he's up to it.  He has been over
there at the computer writing page after page for his classes,
and crying like a baby all the while.  Something about lit
reviews and analyzing test results.  Since when is that hard?

Frankly, I'm a little worried about him.  I may not be the one in
school to become a doctor of psychology, but based on his late nights.
the piles of books and journal on his desk that he just doesn't stop reading
and all the open weeping, I think there may be some self-hatred going on
there that he needs to address.

But enough about cry baby pants.  Today I want to talk to you about
my new ride, the Bravo Team US M3A2 Bradley Fighting Vehicle. 
Its 1:18th scale and ready to rock.

And Meesa friend Dusta said I could help!

::sigh:: yeah, I did say Jar Jar could help.  In any case, this thing
is THE SHIT.  It isn't part of the GI Joe line.  It part of the  Bravo Team brand,
made by Unimax and sold in the US, exclusively, as far as I can tell, at Target. 
Don't try looking for it at KMart, Walmart, or TRU.  You won't find it there.

Now different minds can disagree, but there is a lot of toy here.
Unlike most GI Joe toys, however, this thing comes completely
built out of the box.  No pieces to put on or parts to assemble.
Don't slip, Jar Jar.

But this thing is solid as a rock. There is some high grade, sturdy
plastic going on here that is far nicer than the stuff you see in
the current crop of action figure vehicles out of Hasbro or Mattel, let
me tell you.  If this thing fall out of your hands, nothing is breaking
or coming apart. Its going to stay together no problem.

Far more so than the Sky Sweeper.

Also, there are no decals or stickers of any kind going on here. 
All the labels and graphics are painted on at the factory.  If you
have some left over 'Joe stickers, you would easily add them.
There are plenty of flat spaces where they could be applied.

And the painting applications are great.  So it looks great, right?
But what about those all important action action features???

First of all, the turret turns...

a...

full...

360!  Stop playing under the APC, Jar Jar

Jar Jar: Messa stuck! 

The gun tracks vertically as well.  Down...

...and up.  See, I'm a gentleman, and I will not be making
and crude jokes about the Bradley being happy to see
David's Natalie Portman poster collection, which
is posted up behind the photographer.

Two of the hatches open and close, and can each fit
a single standard sized 1:18th action figure.

However, this hatch is just for show and does
now actually open.  Hey modders, you have
your objective.  Finish this bad boy!

Finally, we have an opening back access way and room for
4 regular sized 1:18th scale action figures, although the ceiling
is pretty low, so it makes kind of a cramped fit.

I think Jar Jar can attest to the fact that the Bravo Team M3A2
Bradley fighting vehicle also has real rubber treads and 6 working
wheels on each side.  When this thing rolls out, it moves right.

All in all, I think this is a really nice item.  I need to go take
Jar Jar to the Hoth Medical Bay playset to fix his broken
bones and crushed internal organs.  But I'll see you around!

Well, I'm lucky Dusty had the time to update the blog.  It's been too long.  I am grad that I am finished with last week.  Six papers to turn in between Monday and Friday, and that meant over 70 pages of writing.  And all of it was stuff the required work before hand- article critiques, assessments to give and then write up, a preliminary doctoral project proposal... so glad it is behind me.  On the bright side of things, it was my wife's birthday on Friday, and we had a great party here at the house on Saturday.  My wife's cousin, Abe, was one of our guests and he is a professional graphic designer and artist.  He's a fan of the Warhammer: 40k game, and has a really impressive Chaos Warriors army.  He came down to the Man Lair where I keep my stuff and saw my little workshop, and said he would help me with the clipper.  So that's cool as hell.  To be scheduled, but its nice to have someone who knows what he's doing offering to help me out on that one.

I'm also a very lucky guy to have such a wonderful wife, Laura, who has been there for me these last 6 years.  Laura pointed out a few weeks ago that we've not been together for 10 years. That's a long time.  She is the light of my life and every day I still feel, in the words of Shakespeare, nothing can be ill if she be well. I hope all of you have or find someone who is as good to you as she is to me, and who you can be good back to in return.  In any case, I should get back to work.  I hope you have all been well.  I'll be back in less than a week with a new update.  

Until next time,

David D.

Final Build-A-HQ related post for a while...

The title says it all.  This will be my last post related to my Build-A-HQ project for the foreseeable future.  If you have been here at all for the last month or so, you are aware that I used the plans from Vexar Designs to build my own diorama of a lobby/security desk and tactical operations center for 1/18th scale action figures.  I made some mistakes, but overall things went pretty well.  I learned a lot and ended up with a pretty cool little dio.  But now my problem is, where do I put the thing?

The finished model is 22 inches by 8 inches by 6 and a 3/8ths or so inches.  I put a base of foam board under the styrene floor itself to protect it from scratches and wear and tear.  I can't just put it in a gap on my self between various action figures on a shelf.  Its too big.  I need some real space to place this thing.  Hmm.  The good news is that I have plenty of book shelves in my little basement Man Lair where I built this model.  The bad news is that those book shelves are mostly full of books.

But but but!  Not all the shelves are packed.  I noticed that there was some space on the lower shelf of by bookcase next to the computer where I store the boxes for video games.  Plus there were boxes of games I am not playing again any time soon.  Games like World of Warcraft; I had the box for WoW, The Burning Crusade expansion and the Wrath of the Lich King expansion.  I haven't played WoW in about a year, and I have no plans on doing so in future.  Goodbye, WoW stuff.  That's 3 inches of shelf space liberated.  I also realized that if I turned the boxes for Medieval II Total War, Rome Total War Gold, The Orange Box, Star Wars: Best of the PC, and Star Wars: Empire At War, Forces of Corruption on their side, it saves a bit more space.  Like 2 more inches. We are on a roll here!

I figured where I wanted to put the model.  I have another book shelf near the computer where I have already started moving books off of it to make space for toys. On the top of that bookshelf I have my modern Millennium Falcon, and a Star Wars walker from the new trilogy..  On the shelf below the space I are taking books from I have totally dedicated to displaying my little urban commando team.  The team is made up of War Machine, Cable, Duke & Ripcord in their Delta 6 Accelerator suits, Black Widow, a figure from the Target "Bravo Team" line, both of my GI Joe Cycle Armor figures, a Batman Begins batmobile driven by Deadpool, and my custom Coyote.  I have my Vamp Mk II sitting on my printer and a GI Joe Steel Crusher APV there as well.  It seemed to be a good place to put the diorama, and there weren't that many books on the top shelf.    Going though books you haven't read in a while is fun.  I haven't read all of the books I have down here, but between my wife and I, we have read about 95% of them.  Nearly all of the books we haven't read we inherited from her grandfather when he died a few years ago.  The man was a dedicated bibliophile and he had a bunch of things I haven't read but should: The Rise And Fall of the Third Reich, Crisis Of the Old Order, Profiles In Courage, stuff like that.  One day I'll get around to them.

Not all the books from the top shelf fit in the freed up space on the other book shelf, but as I said, there are plenty of book shelves in the Man Lair.  I got about half of the books to fit in the newly opened up space and found homes for the other books on other shelves.  Finally, I have a suitable home for the Build-A-HQ dio that does not include it sitting on the David's Workshop project bench. 

You can't really tell from the picture here, but I have Mainframe and Helix turned facing each other in the Dio. Mainframe figured he was too much of a tech nut for a lady to ever be interested in him, but Helix doesn't seem to find him unattractive at all.  She's impressed with his skill, and under his tough shell, his sensitivity.  Who knows where their relationship will take them.  Cover Girl on the other hand isn't the least bit interested in Pit Commando.  Strictly professional on that side of the TOC.

Ok- now on to the clipper project.  Until next time.

David D.

GI Joe Renegades Wave 1 found at Target!

Carded Renegades Wave 1 in hand.  Woot!

Not a Build A HQ update, but still on the topic of collecting.  I found the GI Joe Renegades first wave of figures at the midway Target yesterday here in St. Paul.  I hadn't seen them anywhere for the last few weeks, including Walmart where it sounds like they have been showing up, according to the regular collecting websites like hisstank.com and theterrordrome.com.  I was worried they were going to pass me by.  But nope, after working out at the gym yesterday morning I ran by Target just to see if anything was in. And lo and behold, the new wave was fresh on the pegs.  I just grabbed one of each, leaving the rest for the next guy or gal.  Its great to have these acquisitions off my 'to buy' list. 

The best part? When I took them up to the register, they were not in the computer.  The cashier asked me if I remembered how much they were, and I said I think they were $7.99 or something like that, but I didn't remember.  I said I could run back and check. 

"No problem" she said.  "They aren't in the computer? I think they are $6.00."  And she winked at me.  So check that out- I found a wave I have been looking all over for, and I got them for 25% off.  Thank you Target.

Until next time,

David D

First Custom Figs!

As easy as this was to do, they look pretty sweet.

Well, I did it.  I made my first custom figures (using processes that involved altering figures in ways that do not include repainting the figures) today.

Yeah baby.  I'm in it thick now.

Ok ok, its nothing too exciting- one of them was just a head switch, and the other is a head switch with some dremel work.  But I think they turned out pretty well.

I ran over to TRU today while doing some errands to see if the Renegades wave was in yet- I haven't had any luck all week finding the new figures, even though it sounds like there are out in a lot of other parts of the country.  The TRU I visited did not have them, but they did have almost the entire first wave of the 30th anniversary Joe figure line except for Hazard Viper, but that was cool because I already have that wave.  But I got to thinking... man... that Iron Granadier is one cool looking figure.  His head is cool, his armor is cool, his weapons are cool... wouldn't it be awesome to see if I could hollow out his helmet and put a Joe head under there so they could run around in an Iron Granadier disguise?

Sgt. Stalker was there too, and I gotta say, this guy has one of the best head sculpts going.  He just looks badass.  I knew that something would have to happen with his hair to get the idea to work- I'd probably have to use my xacto knife to remove it, but what they hey.  So I picked up two Iron Granadiers and one Stalker.  I had a Rise of Cobra Duke sitting in a box of figures I had picked up at TJ Maxx not long ago to be used for parts.  And say what you want about the movie, I really like the head sculpt of that Duke figure too.  I figured I'd try making a Duke in IG costume and a Sgt. Stalker in IG costume, both with removable helmets, and see how it went.  Ideally, both would work out, and if I screwed up with one helmet, I'd still have the one more to work with.

Here they are: after the win but before the fall.

Ok- I got home and got the packages open.  Bad news. There is no way I was going to be able to get the IG helmet over the Duke or Stalker's melon. I had noticed that it would be tough to get Stalker's beret in there back at the store, but once I had the figures out and the heads popped off, it was pretty clear that even though the helmet looks huge on the figure, it is almost exactly the same size as the heads for Stalker or Duke.  Just hollowing the helmet out was not going to work. Time for a new plan.

Yo Joe!

And one came.  When I popped Duke's head on the IG figure, it looked pretty sweet.  Really.  The details in the armor and the details in the head worked well together.  The color pallets were completely compatible.  Even without a removable helmet, this was a pretty cool looking figure.  It would look even cooler with the helmet, but that would take some work. I'd need to make the helmet longer- perhaps that would mean hollowing the thing out, then cutting it into a front and back half and adding some apoxy or whatever to lengthen the thing.  And that would take a bit of work, not to mention supplies and expertise that I didn't have at the moment.  I was looking for a simple win with this project.  My first first custom figure was a situation where I bit off a bit more than I could chew, and I didn't want to repeat that adventure.  I'll be honest- this was a confidence building exercise.  I wanted it to work out, I wanted something that looked cool, but I also wanted to do something that was within my competency level.

I may be an E5 and Duke
an O4, but he WISHES
he looked this good.

When I put Sgt. Stalker's head on the peg to get an idea of how it would look, I was impressed.  Again, the detail of the head worked well with the detail of the rest of the figure, and again, the color pallets were complimentary.  Sgt. Stalker has a much more hardcore look than ROC Duke, and if I could get this to work, I thought this would look like the much nicer figure.  I could not put the head all the way down on the peg however, because the back of the collar of the Iron Granadier was in the way of Stalker's dreadlocks. It would have to go, and perhaps, the handle on the back of the armor would need to go as well, since Stalker's dreads fall down along his back.

Mini Sanding Tool is a go!

I purchased a Black & Decker Dremel from Target a few weeks ago knowing that if I kept things up with this little hobby of mine, I was going to need one sooner or later.  I also grabbed some additional dremel bits because the actual kit came with very few on its own.  I threw the 'light' sanding tool into the dremel and figured there was a first time for everything. I really hoped I wouldn't destroy the figure.   But I had a plan- I would start using the tool on the "low" setting and go as slow as possible.  Kind of like starting a drilling project with the smallest bit; you can't blow it too bad if your bit is smaller than the screw you want to put in the wall (or whatever.) Same deal here.  If I needed more umph, I could always dial it up. 

If you don't like it put a black dot on it.

I also checked out the part of the collar where it seemed to intersect with Sgt. Stalker's hair and marked it with a black felt tip art marker. I figured I could use that to tell where I should be focusing my sanding work and give me a visual.  Being the safe guy that I am, I also threw on some plastic goggles.  It would turn out I didn't really need them, but this was my first run and I wasn't about to risk my eyes on a project.   I also took the armor off the figure itself, as I figured I could damage the body in some way if I kept it on there, and didn't want to risk that.

Dremel work in progress.

 And then I just jumped in with that dremel.   The goings were slow.  The kind of plastic the armor is made out of just did not give much on the low setting.  So I pulled the tool away from the figure and decided, 'here goes nothing', and set the speed adjustment to 'middle'.  And then it was a whole new ballgame.

The dremel tore threw the plastic like a smart phone enabled scalper threw a fully stocked toy store. I used short, brief motions to dremel small portions of the plastic away because I figured that if I held the dremel on the plastic for more than a few fractions of a second, it would slash right threw it.  After some progress, I would put the armor back on the figure, and then try Sgt. Stalker's head on the thing, to see how it lined up and where I needed to do additional work.

All in all, it worked out really well.  I got the collar chiseled out just right so the hair passed through it where the hair is bound up, and even better, the way the dreadlocks spread out covered the gap int he collar.  I also did some dremel work on the handle-looking section of armor that stands out from the back of the figure below the collar line so the hear could rest closer to the back of the figure. Again, I would dremel a bit, then test with the Stalker's head to see where more dremeling was needed, and after a few iterations had a nice set up.  Stalker can't really turn his head too successfully in this set up, but he looks pretty cool standing and looking straight ahead.

And that's it!  Both Stalker and Duke look great in their new Iron Granadier customs.  It didn't take much work to do, but I'm calling this a win on account of the fact it was an original idea that I came up with and it ended up looking sweet, and because I was able to accomplish what I set out to do, and because I got some experience with the dremel and didn't destroy any action figures to the point that I couldn't create what I set out to create with the items I had when I started the project.  So- success!  Woo!

Until next time.

David D.

Tears and cheers for the GI Joe Cycle Armor with Ashiko

Here they come to save the day!  Except, not really.

Ok, many, many years ago, say, around 1988 or so, I was nine years old and my friend Seth had an overnight birthday party.  Seth was a smart, artistic cat.  His parents were both college professors, and he had interesting tastes.  He was the guy that introduced me to They Might Be Giants* and later on, to Squirrel Nut Zipper. And a bunch of other stuff that artie kids get into before the rest of us.

Anyway, at this birthday party, Seth had scored the Bubblegum Crisis videos from his parents as an early birthday gift.  We watched them that night.

Side views are cool.

They blew our effing minds.  So many new and amazing things were going on there.  Animation from Japan that had subtitles at the bottom of the screen.  They was futuristic, super violent, and had stories far more complex than He-Man did.  They were stylized in way that was unlike anything else we had ever seen before. And the very best part was not the naked ladies in the cartoons (well, I was a year or two too young to really appreciate that.)  No no- even cooler then that was the FREAKEN TRANSFORMING MOTORCYCLES those ladies rode THAT TURNED INTO BODY ARMOR when they fought the bad guys.  I had completely missed Robotech- I wouldn't learn about cyclone armor for a few more years.  But the cyclone suits in Robotech had the same idea- it was motorcycles, that turned, into armor suits for the driver.  And that is an amazing concept. I couldn't conceive of anything cooler in terms of sci-fi/fantasy.

Fast forward 23 years.  I was really excited to learn last winter that Hasbro was going to make a set of cycle armor that went from a guy on a bike to armor that fit around the guy, ala the Knight Sabers from the Bubblegun Crisis or the Cyclone Armor squads from Robotech.  Like, really excited.  Not only was it the motorcycle -> armor thing, it was a GI Joe thing too!  I hadn't been as excited to see something that totally appealed to my nerd side since The Phantom Menace.

Even in armor mode, this guy isn't much bigger than a regular
action figure.  He is a little taller, but he doesn't look like he
quiet capable of tearing apart a HISS Tank on his own or anything.

Unfortunately, that allusion is apt.

Confession.  I purchased two of these bad boys on ebay.  Two.  For a lot of money.  I should have seen the writing on the wall when Hasbro said they would not be releasing the Cycle Armor as an online exclusive or selling them in the USA at retail during the August 2011 online Q&A sessions.

I should say this right away- do I dislike the Joe Cycle Armor as much as The Phantom Menace?  No!  Not at all.  It would take a lot to make me as disappointed with something as I am with the Phantom Menace.  Or the entire prequel trilogy, for that matter.

But that said, the Joe Cycle Armor?

It...

it disappoints.

Cycle mode is cool.  But I didn't buy this toy for cycle mode. 
If I wanted a GI Joe Motor Cycle, there are many, many
other options besides this one.  And they are a hell of a
lot less expensive.

Ok, I'll start with the glass half full stuff.  In motorcycle mode, the thing works great.  It holds together just fine!  'But David,' you are probably thinking, 'it holds together?  Um, is that really a praise worthy achievement for a toy?'

In this case,

Yes.

Yes it is.

The cycle mode is cool.  I think it is missing something in the way of a nifty little windscreen to really make it look totally sweet, but whatever.  The cycle mode is by far the best part of this toy, and talking about how cycle mode could be cooler only detracts from the best part of the thing, and the best part needs to be good to balance out what doesn't work, because with the Joe Cycle Armor, what doesn't work is a lot.

The figure, or "Ashiko", just kind of sucks.  The hands don't stay connected to the arms- they keep falling out of the wrist sockets.  I painted the little pegs that connect the hands to the forearm with black paint, and that seemed to fix that problem.  And I think it would be really cool to have an Japanese male head on the figure, but that just doesn't seem to be in the cards for this figure.  But the really bad part is yet to come.   Um, to further my desire to portray the figure in the best possible light, I will also say... that he could be worse?  Yeah, that's it.  It doesn't suck too much that his legs have these slots built into them, or that the forearm armor with the slots coming out of them really don't seem to fit and cut off a lot of articulation of the elbows.  Because who really needs elbow articulation?  That something only fat, lazy toy fans need.  Real people are happy with armor that doesn't seem to fit on the character.  We grew up with star wars figures in the 80's, and those didn't have elbow joints, and we loved those guys. So this is fine. Really, its fine. Its totally, totally fine.

So many parts!  So many weapons and components!

And its also totally fine that the guy comes with his own mini arsenal.  He comes with a ton of weapons he can't really hold because his hands keep popping out of their joints, and the weapons are all the same color black and the sword and the knife will look really cool once we paint the blades silver and its really cool that the knife comes in a little sheaf that does not connect to any part of Ashiko's body, because who needs that, and who cares that it is pretty much impossible for Ashiko can't really hold any weapons when he is in armor mode, because, well, his hands keep falling out and besides that, the way his armor goes around his hands there is no way any of his rifles or even the pistol will fit there.  The katana kind of fits,  but that's pretty much it, and that's great because, geez, we had really low expectations going in, and anything that it good, is super fantastic.  And lots of weapons are really good.  So... that means the weapons are really super fantastic.  Yeah.  That's the ticket.

But now I'm a little weirded out because I've gotten to the part where I have to talk about the armor mode and I don't want to talk about the armor mode which is why I kind of tried to talk about everything else and put armor mode discussion off for as long as I could because

ARMOR MODE SUCKS SUPER DUPER, AMAZINGLY, PROBABLY NEARLY INCALCULABLE AMOUNTS

OF BUTT.

To point it another way, it sucks so much.  So, so, so much.

Nothing stays together in armor mode.  For whatever reason, it is almost impossible to get the tabs of the armor to fit into the slots on the Ashiko's person.  And once you do get the pieces to kind of hold together, if you *breath* on it, they fall apart.  In armor mode, this thing is a fragile, fragile, little snowflake. Once he is put together, he looks cool as hell, but you cannot play with this thing.

Pretty much none of the slots on the underside of the armor
(seen here) fit the plugs in Ashiko's armor correctly.  None. 
You have been warned.

Because his chest armor is going to pop off if you move him from point A to point B.  And then his left leg is going to come off, which really sucks because that was the hardest piece to connect in the first place. And then his right hand is going to pop off. And his helmet is going to come off too since you tilted the man to the side.  And when you put he helmet back on (be careful, because if it falls from 3 feet up or higher, that thing can bounce and its dark and it can go under a table or fade into a shadow under a couch or dark carpeting or whatever, and wow, you just spent 5 minutes making the guy go from cycle mode to robot mode, something that really should take a minute or two tops and would, if the pegs fit snugly into the slots but they don't and then you spent another 10 minutes reconnecting him back together again because you were dumb enough to think you could play with this guy in armor mode.

I bought two of these guys on ebay.  I think I mentioned that.  For a lot of money.

Ugh.  I'm such an idiot.

But you know what? 

I still really, really like this piece.  It hurt me.  This is an abusive toy.  If you touch it in cycle mode, it will punish you like it punishes me.  But I keep coming back to it, as if I am crying out "Thank you, Madam GI Joe Cycle Armor!  May I have another??"

Yet I really like it. 

And I like it because it is a motorcycle that turns into armor for the guy riding the motorcycle.  And that concept has captured my imagination since I was 9 years old.  Its just too cool for something even as irritating as poor peg and slot design to mess up.  It hurts you, but like that beautiful girlfriend who knows you and and gets you and makes you feel like you the most important, most wonderful guy in he world when she is with you, and then cheats on you, you still want to like it.  Because its just so cool.  So even though the intellectual part of me will say "David, you are an idiot for spending so much money on this toy.  This thing is a piece of crap.", the emotional side will say "gee wiz, dude, its

a motorcycle,

that turns,

into body armor!  And I own it now!  I get to put it on a shelf and look at it and be inspired by the its genius!  Its so creative!  Its so cool!  I love it so much!  Its so cool!"

My mind, in this, like so many other areas, will thus be locked in a permanent state of  disagreement and discord.

For my final say, I say this.  The GI Joe Cycle Armor with Ashiko is more like a deluxe action figure than an alpha vehicle.  The cycle itself is very small.  Its too bad this thing is in a window box and not a blister card.  The degree of over packaging on account of this is ridiculous.  I think I would have no problems buying this guy for $12.00.  I spent a hell of a lot more than $12 for two of these on ebay.  But in the end, this thing is a guy with armor that turns into a motor cycle.  And it makes my inner child squeal with utter pleasure and delight.  And sometimes, you need to make your inner child squeal with utter pleasure and delight.  So I am not going to torture myself for buying a not quite ready for prime time toy.  In our lives, especially as we get older, the situations where our inner child get to squeal with utter pleasure and delight are few and far between.  So when it happens, I think you gotta just take it an enjoy it while it lasts.

No matter how many times you need to put that stupid effing left armored leg back on the figure.

Dave Drapper's GI JOE Urban Response Squad:
Ready to rock and roll!

*I have no idea what the people at Tiny Toons were thinking when they made this episode- the entire cartoon that day was Tiny Toon characters acting out They Might Be Giants music videos.  I never heard where it came from or why they did it, but it is one of those things you can ask people our age- when you were a young, did you ever see that episode of Tiny Toons where all the cartoons were music videos?  The cool kids know what you are talking about.

ITS DONE.

Ready for action!

Well folks, the project is done.  I have all of my parts for the Killer Whale, and today the ship is sitting proudly on a shelf for all to see in my basement man cave.  She is *huge*.  I am so pleased with this project; its been a lot of wish fulfillment shipped to me in little packages from nice people all over the country on eBay.  I learned a few things about this- first, its much more expensive to buy the parts for the ship via eBay than I thought it would be.  It would have been much cheaper in the long run to spend $150 plus shipping to buy a complete ship from an online vendor then doing what I did, which was basically buy parts individually and in lots.  I bet my grand total for the ship came in at over $300 with shipping.   And that's a pretty steep markup over buying the thing in one big purchase.

At the same time, it was pretty cool to buy the parts this way, a one or a few at a time.  It was really something seeing the ship come together, and checking ebay in the end for those last parts to show up added to the tension and anticipation of putting the set together.  There are two sets of parts that are hard to find online and only show up every few weeks or so on eBay for this vehicle- the cannon tips and the vertical steering vanes.  You need four steering vanes and two cannon tips to make the ship complete, and the cannon tips were easy to loose back when.  They come off easily.  And the vertical vanes are easily broken. Each have two small tabs which could snap off, and both have two thing sections of plastic that represent 'hinges' that can break due to aggressive play.  I purchased two vanes individually just after my last post, and purchased the last two vanes together about two weeks later.  Then I had to wait for the cannon tips.

Yeah, this missile pods just don't like to stay up. :-(

I waited for a few weeks for the cannon tips to show up on eBay.  There are a few stores online that had listed them in stock at various points, but when I went back to check them out, they were gone.  I *had* to go through eBay.  I found one for sale with a "buy it now" option.  The second took another week to go, and then I found one- there was a seller with a Killer Whale parts lot, with a picture of the items.  In the picture, I could see the lot included a cannon AND the tip, and a few other parts.  The parts were not listed specifically in the description, which may have reduced the attention this particular lot received from other would be buyers.

There was no "buy it now" option, so I just had to bid.  It was rough actually waiting for the several days to see what the bidding would get to, but thankfully, I had the winning bid.  In the mean time, I had collected the other parts I needed- the bike, fans and shroud assemblies, and was good to go.

This toy is so cool.  There are so many things that can be done with it.  A drive shaft extends from each fan into a gear box, which has a button.  Pushing the button really makes those fans spin.  the fans have steering vanes that can be adjusted and shifted; there is a cockpit with space for two figures, two machine gun nests, really ferocious looking cannons, a spring loaded scout sled, and room for a lot of stuff inside the hovercraft itself.  This is a *fantastic* toy, one that I probably would have loved as much as my personal favorite toy back in '84, Castle Greyskull.

The one big draw back to this item is how fragile it is; there are a lot of parts, and they are not very securely fastened to each other.  It must have been very expensive to make, especially when you compare it to toys on the shelves today; I rarely see action figure vehicles as big as this when I do make sentimental trips down the toy aisle at my local Target; 95% of the stuff I see is much smaller, and I would assume, less complex then this guy.  I appreciate all the work that must have gone in to designing this bad boy.

Its a great toy, and I had a wonderful experience putting it together over these last several months.  If you are thinking about doing this yourself, I recommend it- even at $300, the experience of  getting myself something like this that I had wanted ever since I was a little boy was well worth the time, effort and money I expended to make this happen.  If you have the means and find yourself longing for this item, I say seriously consider picking one up for yourself on eBay.  I'd recommend saving up and buying one all at once if you can, but even if you can't, the experience of watching it come together is bitter sweet at worst, and at best, deeply, deeply, satisfying.

David Draper

And the project continues.

Starting to take form...

It has been a LONG time since November 2010, but I am back.  And I've made a few acquisitions for the 'Whale.

I was able to pick up two more wheels on ebay about a month ago.  Since my last post, I have also grabbed the sled, the cannons, the cannon hinge covers, the missiles, and a second missile pod.  This entire little project has turned out to be more time consuming expensive than I thought it was going to be, especially the way I am doing it- buying items piece by piece, based on what is for sale on ebay or various vintage toy web sites that I find at any given time.  Some parts of this toy are very expensive- $20.00 each plus shipping for the steering vanes that go on the back of the boat, and there are four of them.  $20!  For a tiny piece of plastic!  And the really nifty part is that these vanes are very fragile, so the lots I find on ebay (when they are there) are often broken.

It can be frustrating waiting for the item that I am looking for to show up for sale, and rough when I see the starting price on it far higher then my the logical side of my head thinks I should pay for it.  And then I get to start bidding and hope that someone does not out offer me.  But you know what?  When I get that brown box or padded envelope in the mail with my order, all that frustration is long gone.  Putting this thing together, watching it coming closer and closer to complete, is unlike anything else I have ever done before.  I did do a bit of Habitat for Humanity in college.  The feeling I get as I put more and more parts on the toy is something like the satisfaction I would enjoy as we put the dry wall on the studs or finished creating a staircase where there was just an empty space a few hours before.  And I understand that- I get that.  But there is something else at work here also. On top of the normal delight I get from putting things together, there is the added pleasure of getting to slowly acquire something that I have wanted, something I have pined for, for literally 25 years.   A quarter of a century.  And now I get to do it.  It is so deeply rewarding that it makes all the other stuff- the bidding wars, the waiting for someone to post the part I am looking for, the frustration, the money and the waiting, waiting, waiting... see all of this come together makes it all worth it.

This thing is a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

The amazing thing about the Killer Whale is that the more it comes together, the cooler the toy is.  I thought it would be cool when I started this project, but I had no idea.  They simply don't make toys like this anymore.  There are so many parts, so many cool activities to do with this thing that I could see kids *literally* playing with it for hours.  There are cannons that rotate up and down on hinges, the two machine gun turrets that men can stand it, an the ejecting sled that an action figure can use to scout ahead, the hold inside of the boat with room for several figures or a small vehicle with a fold out ramp, wheels to push the thing around on flat surfaces, OR, you could bring it to a lake or steam and the thing will float.  Its just freaken' amazing.  So much thought seemed to go into this toy.  I just think about all the kids who had a chance to play with it and all of the battles this thing went through, all the different ways it could be played with- sending the good guys head long into the fight, rescuing stranded heroes, speaking up on a bad guy base from the sea, either with guns blazing or by stealthy under a cover of darkness... so many great imaginary adventures must have featured this great toy.

A wise friend of mine, Matt, once told me, "try to have low expectations.  That way, if your expectations aren't met, it will be a pleasant surprise."  The older I have gotten, the more truth I have seen in that statement.  I acknowledge to having high hopes for this project at the outset.  This is one of the rare cases where my risky high expectations have been exceeded by reality. 

Anywhere, here are some pics of where the ship stands now.  Next post will be when the next shipment arrives, which according to ebay, should be in the next few days.  Take care.  See you back again soon.

Parts still to go: motor cycle, depth charges, fans, fan shrouds, steering vanes, cannon tips, Cutter (ship pilot).

David Draper

Clean up

Before the great clean up:
Wash you hands after handling this toy.

I didn't think it would take me a few days to clean up the Killer Whale and get some pictures on here, but, you know...

Thanksgiving.

At the farm where my wife grew up, which is a two hour drive away.

BUT I'm back now.  When I got the 'Whale, it was pretty dusty.  And some parts (especially the bridge) were seriously nasty. But with just a few minutes of work with some of those disposable paper towels drenched in fruit scented toxic chemicals used to clean bathrooms, we were as good as 1983 new.

Most of the hovercraft is smooth, which made cleaning it a breeze for the lion's share of the work.  A few places on the outside of the ship have some nooks and crannies that required some q-tip-and-rubbing alcohol enhanced cleaning to get the dust and other grime off.  The bridge itself was pure gross. I don't even want to know what was going on there before I got it, but  its good now.

Like it just arrived from the toy store.

The cabin insides of the boat was also pretty nasty.  I'm not entirely sure why the inside sections were so much more disgusting than the outside.  I would think it would go the other way around, but not so much.  The bathroom cleaner towels did their number on it and I think all the germs/dust/who know what other substances are all gone now.  It may now be lemon and rubbing alcohol scented, but at least it glows and shines line it just came out of the package.

So that's the end of this chapter.  I am going to shoot some emails and make some posts about looking for parts for this bad boy.  If you have any leads for parts, or suggestions on the care and cleaning of vintage G.I. Joe toys, or good psychology jokes, please pass them along.  Until then, take care.

David Draper

First post!

Today I got something that I have wanted for 26 years: the G.I. Joe Killer Whale, a toy military landing craft from the early 1980's G.I. Joe line.

My parents were did not want their baby boy growing up thinking war was fun or something to aspire to, and they were adamant that there would be no G.I. Joe toys or any other military related play things in the house.  Not that I grew up deprived- I had plenty of legos, he-men, some star wars guys, a few transformers and plenty of other, non realistically aggressive toys. (I am thankful He-Man made the cut).  I had Castle Greyskull, which is arguably one of the top two or three toys of the 1980s.  And my parents were great.  In no way was I without toys or affection. 

But still, I always wanted to get that cool hovercraft.

Why?  Lets talk a little bit about G.I. Joe toys in the early 1980s.  In terms of boy toys, they were, hands down, the best action figure toy line out there.  Besides action figures, I think only legos really give them a run for their money.  In a time when star wars figures only had joints at the shoulder and hip, G.I. Joy guys had knees and elbows.  They came with backpacks, gear and weapons.  Star Wars guys came with one weapon and zero gear, and zero other stuff.  He-Men guys were pretty much all the same mold except for their head, although they had different colors and different kinds of armor.  And He-Man guys did not have moving elbows or knees. (they did have spring loaded waists, which allowed them to deliver major smack downs, however.  I remember my friends and I lining up Skeletor and all his minions behind him, pulling back He-Man's arm and knocking them down like dominoes.  We could play with those guys for hours.)

But back to the point, G.I. guys seemed (at the time, anyway) to each be unique. They each had gear.   They had, by far, the best and most interesting vehicles and bases.  As cool as the action figure sized X-Wing was, (and it was hella cool) a G.I. Joe plane was a zillion times cooler.  it would have missiles that you could detach and fire at a target, it had panels that could come off so you could see the engine and other parts of the machine under the armor (we always called it the "skin" growing up), it had stickers and all kinds of detail in the plastic molds, and often, you put them together from the parts that came in the box, so for some of the bigger vehicles, it was a lot like putting a model together.

There was so much quality there.  You could imagine epic battles, and we built battle grounds in sand boxes and back yards and parks across the neighborhood with these toys.  So much fun.  So much joy and positive memories are associated with G.I. Joe toys in my childhood.

But how is that  I didn't have any G.I. Joe stuff, right?

'Cuz I had plenty of buddies back then, and yup, they ALL had G.I. Joe toys. Someone would have a birthday party, and after cake and ice cream, we'd usually open up some of the toys and start the ones that required assembly together, and then start playing with them.  I remember there was a G.I. Joe jet that looked like a Blackbird that at least 6 of my friends got for their birthdays.  I think we could get that thing put together in 3 minutes flat by the time the last guy got his.

Additional time was required for sticker application.

So yeah, I never had any G.I. stuff, and I always thought the Killer Whale was the coolest of the bunch.  Why?

1. It was big.
2. There was so much to do with it.
     2a. It had turrets for men to stand in and shoot bad guys. And the turrets rotated. 
     2b. It had fans that moved.
     2c. It had depth charges to release with a little switch.
          2c i. When I was 5 I didn't even know what depth charges WERE but when my friends and I played with this toy, releasing the depth charges was the most fun thing ever.
     2d. It had a place to put guys "inside"
          2d i. for some reason, in the 1980's having toys big enough to put figures inside was the dividing line between the bigger and cooler toys and the smaller and less cool ones.  Nearly all of the coolest vehicles had a cockpit that was inside the toy.  There were some cool toys that had a driver or pilot sit out exposed to the elements (attack track, for the he-man toy line, is such a toy) but it seemed to me that having a toy big enough to have a figure inside also meant that there were plenty of other nifty things going on there.
          2d ii. I don't even want to think about the psychological implications of that last paragraph, or the childhood psychosexual imagery going on there.  So I'll skip it.
     2e. IT FLOATED.  It was a toy boat that actually floated in water.  AND it had wheels.  On pivots.  So it worked at the local pond AND on your kitchen table.   (Usually the mom of the house would not want the toy to go directly from the local pond to her table top, and some cleaning off was required.  But still.) OUTSTANDING.
     2f.  The final major awesome feature of this toy: it had a spring loaded scout sled that would pop out when you pushed a button and send a guy out to scout out the area.

This thing was totally cool and required exactly zero (0) batteries. None.  This thing is is WAY on the other side of the digital divide. Sounds?  You make them "pa-chew! pa-chew! woooosh!" sounds yourself.  You want it to move?  You push it.  And we never once felt anything was missing.  When we played with these toys, we wanted for nothing.

And today, my nearly life long desire has be met.  I found someone who was getting rid of their G.I. Joe toy collection on Craig's List a few days ago.  I saw the Killer Whale in the picture, and I shot them an email and asked how much for just that item.  The kind seller heard my story and *gave* it too me. 

Gave it to me.  Just like that.  We met in the parking lot of a target store this morning and did the hand off.

There are plenty of good and kind people out there.

But there is a catch.

I didn't get all of it.

As you can imagine, an amazing, action packed toy like this has a lot of parts.    In any case, I got the chassis of the toy. I figure I am missing the following parts:

1. the motorcycle.
2. two of the wheels on the bottom.
3. both cannons.
4. one cannon housing.
5. both turrets.
6. both machine guys for the turrets.
7. the depth charges.
8. the scout boat.
9. the 2 back fans, the 2 poles that connect to the gear assembly and pretty much everything else that connects to the back fans, such as the rudders, the things that connect the rudders to other things, and whatever else is suppose to be in the back of the boat.

And there may be even more parts missing besides that.

So here is my plan.  Over the next few months, I am going to get the parts to make this thing whole.  I will include pictures of the progress that gets made as I accumulate the accessories I need.  I'll post my observations and the story of how this little mini adventure goes here on this blog.  I hope it goes well.  My goal is to spend as little as possible on this hobby and to savor the experience of putting this all together.  A pleasure like this deserves to be drawn out.  Sure, I could drop a few hundred on ebay and buy the toy mint in its box, but I think that it would almost be anti-climactic.

I have wanted this toy most of my life.  Not only would my parents not get it for me because of the fact it was a war related toy, it was expensive and only around before I think I even had an allowance.  I couldn't have saved up for it myself.  A few times over the years I have walked into a few of those retro toy stores/comic book shops in hopes I might glimpse the toy there, and never saw it.  I have looked at ebay, but I never felt I could justify spending big money on a toy like this when there were other, more practical things to buy.  I looked at craigs list because prices there generally are much cheaper than ebay and you don't have to deal with shipping.   But until a few days ago, I never actually took the step of emailing someone who was looking to get rid of the toy.

And after all that, dropping money to get the entire thing just seems crude.  I have wanted this thing for almost as long as I have been alive.  I think having something that I put together, the way we put these G.I. Joe toys together when someone got them for their birthday, in a way that has me get in touch with people I wouldn't otherwise meet, makes it that much more meaningful and enjoyable once the entire thing is complete.  I have waited 312 months, give or take, to get this thing. I can wait a few more.  I hope you enjoy the story.  I'll post some pictures here of the toy in the next few days.  Until my next post, have a good one.

Dave Draper